I'm going to take "riding" as covering all three of the items that precede it. That is, the bird song, too, is riding the current. Don't know if that's what you intended, but it works for me, and, As Robert Frost said, "A poet is entitled to anything the reader finds in his poem."
5 comments:
Lazy current was a fine usage...just as we let the present pass, lazing :)
Fine haiku, Frank,
wishes,
devika
Gosh I love the image...so moody, so what I love :)
despite the lazy current, i like the fluid motion of the poem, good one...
I'm going to take "riding" as covering all three of the items that precede it. That is, the bird song, too, is riding the current. Don't know if that's what you intended, but it works for me, and, As Robert Frost said, "A poet is entitled to anything the reader finds in his poem."
Love it!
Those first two lines really spark off it each other to create a new poem.
Wonderful images, thank you!
Another lazy poem ;-)
lazy afternoon-
I drift along with the breeze
and dandelion seeds
Alan Summers
1. 'Haiku Friends 2' ed. Masaharu Hirata, Osaka, Japan 2007
2. Aesthetics, Bath Spa University literary journal, Summer 2007
3. Creative Writing Bath ekphrastic exercise
all my best,
Alan
Alan’s Area 17 blog
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