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Friday, 25 November 2011

twisting and turning...
every so often
the crackle of leaves

              or

twisting and turning
all night long...
the crackle of leaves

8 comments:

Rudi Pfaller said...

I like the second version.
"twisting and turning all night long..." may describe restless sleep and twistind and turning may belong to this restless sleep and the crackling leaves as well.

Best wishes
Rudi

Lorraine said...

I Love it, and
dry skin? sweety :)

Marcel Peltier said...

I take the second haïku. Thanks.

Magyar said...

Both nice, but I like number two a little more, Frank.
__To agree with Rudi, it seems to speak of a nights twists and turns and a loss of sleep. Twists and turns... as the wind in the leaves. _m

Bill said...

I like the "all night long" version.

Warren said...

Number two for me, Frank - A very nice haiku and one that sets a softer mood for this fall.

Warren

Adelaide said...

the 2nd version rings for me. What if you dropped the ... at the end of L2? Then you would have a pivot line which could be read as L1 & L2 and L2 & L3.

Adelaide

Frank... said...

Thank you all for your kind comments. It is much appreciated...