I like the second version."twisting and turning all night long..." may describe restless sleep and twistind and turning may belong to this restless sleep and the crackling leaves as well.Best wishesRudi
I Love it, anddry skin? sweety :)
I take the second haïku. Thanks.
Both nice, but I like number two a little more, Frank.__To agree with Rudi, it seems to speak of a nights twists and turns and a loss of sleep. Twists and turns... as the wind in the leaves. _m
I like the "all night long" version.
Number two for me, Frank - A very nice haiku and one that sets a softer mood for this fall.Warren
the 2nd version rings for me. What if you dropped the ... at the end of L2? Then you would have a pivot line which could be read as L1 & L2 and L2 & L3.Adelaide
Thank you all for your kind comments. It is much appreciated...
Post a Comment