Grey Squirrel - Haiku & Contemporary Haiga

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

the bus door opens...

in floods the ozone

scent of new rain

bus door opens...

in floods the scent

of new rain

14 comments:

Out of Sight L said...: yuck ozone may the smell of rain always come on top, very nice Frank; 15 May 2013 at 07:05
Frank... said...: Thanks for stopping by Lorraine...; 15 May 2013 at 14:13
Adelaide said...: Go with the 2nd one. New rain smells sweet; skip the ozone.

Adelaide; 16 May 2013 at 13:02
Frank... said...: You're right Adelaide the 2nd version is better. Thanks for stopping by...; 16 May 2013 at 14:38
Magyar said...: Nice, Frank... both; I favor the more simplistic, option two.

Then, only to compliment Frank, the contrary, the work day ends:

bus door opens
out spills the day's scents
heading home

_m; 16 May 2013 at 15:34
Frank... said...: I like your poem very much. Thanks for stopping by Magyar...; 16 May 2013 at 17:10
Bill said...: Another vote for the second one.; 16 May 2013 at 17:41
Frank... said...: Thanks for stopping by Bill...; 16 May 2013 at 19:51
Out of Sight L said...: I like the OR better it smells much nicer :); 17 May 2013 at 10:29
Frank... said...: Thanks for stopping by Lorraine. Yes, I too prefer the OR version...; 17 May 2013 at 12:32
Iris said...: Hi Frank
and we have beautiful sun here in Warsaw :)
But rain is also necessary sometimes
and haiku about rain, too.
For such an occasion I prefer the second one :)
Have a good week-end, best regards
Iris; 18 May 2013 at 09:28
Frank... said...: Thanks for stopping by. Have a good weekend, Iris...; 18 May 2013 at 10:37
Gillena Cox said...: i like the second one, just what is necessary, and still leaving room for the reader to supplement from his/her experiences

much love...; 18 May 2013 at 11:55
Frank... said...: Thanks for stopping by. Have a good weekend, Gillena...; 18 May 2013 at 12:46

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Tuesday, 14 May 2013

14 comments: