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Thursday, 30 April 2009

HAIGA # 29


11 comments:

Devika said...

Contemplative one, Frank
and a cute picture to say that! :)

wishes,
devika

Lorraine said...

Oh Frank, it's soothing and beautiful :)

polona said...

ohhh... i love this!

great photo, too... seems the aquatic birds are in fashion ;)

RBroeker said...

Really wonderful picture. I like the first two lines.

Best wishes
Ralf

Emma Dalloway said...

this is lovely... well noticed!

Janice Thomson said...

Beautiful haiga Frank - and what a superb photo.

Frank Williams said...

Thanks for looking in. Your thoughts/comments are always welcome...

Paul Smith said...

An absolute gem Frank! Great photo too. I saw some Tufted ducks on an outing to Upton Warren recently, they are very impressive birds.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

how true...

Bill said...

Which "too" do you mean? If, as I suspect, it's the synonym with also, you need commas before and after: "my thoughts, too, drifting." Without the commas, you're saying your thoughts are drifitng excessively.

Or you could say "also." If you make that choice I'd suggest that for the sake of rhythm you turn "drifting" into "drift." "my thoughts also drift"

Frank Williams said...

Thanks for looking in. Your thoughts/comments are always welcome.

Thanks also to Bill. Yes, you are correct my intention was to use the synonym with also. In haiku, most writers keep punctuation to minimum, and the way that I read the last line is to put a pause in naturally where you indicate with commas.

However, having said that, I rather like your suggestion of using, “also” instead of “too”. The rhythm is now better and the composition is tighter. Therefore, my haiga is amended accordingly. Thanks very much for your suggestions.

All the best, Frank...